better

i'm glad d schedules better..
I'm glad she's  getting fatter (d fat one)..
I'm this mad hatter..
Who's got nothing, but letter..
Letter letter .
Wats d matter...
.
.No rains ..but hows this ground so wetter....
As she reads thru..
Did she feel any better..
The fatter the hatter..
Across oceans..between letters :)

why

It did make me happy at first ...the rains..
to watch it pour down as huge dark clouds took over the little small one's.. from my glass window.. Silently murmuring ... I liked it lazy..but then something .gloomy ..terrible engulfed me ..and it is taking over me as I write this..

Trying to wrest myself out of it..

It is tiring to continue to do this all day.. Days passing years n ages...

And then u too are gone..

Why..

Birthdate

Happie birthdate...
Happie birthdate..
Happy happy
Birthdate..

It's not a sunday nor a Monday
It's a happie Wednesday..
The ninth of each month
This date of each month

Is a happie happie day
It's a happie a very happie
A super happie birthdate..

.... danu
Rollie pollie
A happy birthdate
Chotu motu
Gholu polu
Very haaaaapppppiieeee birthdate.

Hdk

.........................................................................

Happy Birthdate.. it’s the 9th again –should I tell u i`ve been waiting for this day or should I tell you that I stumbled upon it –both are true – it depends on what time of the day it is .. there is nothing specif I wanna talk about and there`s millions of trivial things to write about… but you forget things you have no one to tell them to… forget me – have a happy birthdate..

i`ll buy some flowers tomoro…get off work early...maybe a break from 12-hour workdays.. Maybe .

-------------------------------------------------------
Subdued and subjugated..

Wen I get drunk..at every step ..sip. I wonder if I'm too drunk to call.. To give u my love ...
It's never too much..

At d point of every hour..I feel missing you.. Ur absence in every skipped beat..
Keepin myself aside for I   see u every second my love.. Every note of music.. Every word I write..
Everywhere everything everytime everyday ...evermore..

You cannot watch fire really closely without being a part of it..

The hair looks pretty :)

How r u..

Happy birthdate. Lets go dancing..please..

I.....

I continued writing as the network gave up on me..

You are in so many ways poetry material..has someone told you that..the notes go for minors to major and then theres the blend.. Bee.. .. I keep saying it coz I love it.. Dont change it okay
.
Sometimes it feels there's so much you want to tell me.. But then you do believe in short bursts right ..not huge splashes ...

Im so happie u liked d moon note.. Kinda blended wid u..and d moon.. Bee

You have 2 weeks after I come back ..do u promise to talk to me on each of those 10 days.. I want to be wid u until you go away..

It's going to be eerily empty after that... Its not u it's me.

I had come to you with a thirst and you rained..and ure still raining and I'm soaking soaking..I was aiming for a day meal and you gave lifelong nourishment..now who would not want more of that around..

 I know ull be around.. But people disappear..and that fear eats me up .. So the scare..
Never mind you.. You get sleep and be wonderful..and dream... Id someday like to watch you sleep and dream and if it's a good dream you'd smile.. And I would grin back..

..

aug 31, 2014

I want to hug u and sigh - breathe my last.
That's wat I want

But I'm stupid
 .. Coz I'm a super massive black hole
And u r a gentle star

U see d hunger. . insatiable ..

The immense desperation then, sometimes comes and
I want to gobble u up and sink u inside me
But then wat will be left will just be me

Coz I'm devouring ..I m hungry.. And its just d wild craving.  D ones only mindless animals have

And despite all that I have learnt n read... Civilization fails me

hdk

the 27 sept 2014

Today, the book guy hugged me wen i arrived.. I didn't understand wat to do and so i hugged him back.. and i out of nowhere became friends with him and he went on a crazy ride suggesting me one book after the other...

His enthusiasm was happy

I again bought a bucketful of life saving poison ..as I've come to call it that ...

Devansh while playing Minion rush started talking like them... U have to hear and see him play... I'm sure ud play the game the same way...

The sweat has me feeling a little disillusioned.. And so no wonder when i expected someone to emerge from the crowd, i did see you.. And there i was smiling like an idiot..  Hah ...

Are u heading for Navratri anywhere .. If u r .. Can u show me how u look .. Haven't seen u since a 100 or so days now..

Let me know if i can keep writing u everyday or if it has to stop...

/hdk

The Star Gazer

Past two days, I've been reading extensively about the creation of the universe , the theories range from absolutely imaginative (remember my note about all of us being a dream) to grounded astronomy (big bang of course)

So, we must be small atoms you know that were sorta kinda drawn towards each other when the universe was created - and hence we met and were drawn towards each other..

When looking at the grand perspective of things.. Like each night when i look at the stars.. light years away and realizing wat I'm seeing is what the star looked like more than a 100 thousand human years ago.. Just rumbles up the entire concept of space and time.

Imagine a star gazer looking at earth today, but what meets his eye right now is the past .. Where as the reality is something else..the present.

So should he believe what he sees ?

Or should he just stop gazing

To unsubscribe reply "huh"

Hdk

January 8:

I was, carefully arranged, with all those little half truths, half lies, illusions and faded,rusted thoughts, which sit, almost like crippled old men in their armchairs - waiting, drooling, hoping for a conclusion. A dream, then, among all this, comes, and sets everything on fire - the blanket of forceful peace - is unrobed and therein lies my naked self - un-arranged, deranged - full of just one truth, one thought, one dream - you. The fire spreads

Metaphors

Its been such a while, do i begin with pleasantries - how are you ? Or should i begin with wishes for the future? Or should i ask, in a fake start of conversation - some question i can hear you talk endless on ?

Or should i lose all pretense, stand down, disintegrate - bone by bone and finish my being and dissolve into thin air.

Doing the obvious was never my thing - I'll rather disassemble, become oxygen, so you breathe me in - my unapologetic desperation of finding a shelter, a safe house.

You, are a universe of existence - and i am the complete opposite - do you understand now, why the balance is needed -

do you understand my metaphors ?
Do you know why they are needed?
Im not quick witted to find something, a word, a sentence, a line which explains my condition - so i take help -

do you then, understand, how meaningless this whole exercise is when you are not around ?

The 2nd of January 2015 - another  year to find new metaphors for all that fails to make sense, among which, lies my existence.

Hdk